My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
