At least make sure they are 18
Why
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
