I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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