So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
