i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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