and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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