She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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