He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
