I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
