Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
