He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
