well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
