i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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