Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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