Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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