Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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