he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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