I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
