Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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