the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
