that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize