I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
