Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
