dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
