i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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