My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
