It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
