There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
