do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
