Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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