Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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