he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
