So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
