Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm passing your future prison.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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