i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
