I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
