Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize