You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
