Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
