it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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