Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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