you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
