Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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