so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
How does one acquire holy water?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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