Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
