So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
