Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
