Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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