she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
my being single is dangerous.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
