you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
