Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
