You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
