Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
