so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
