If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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