i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
