is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
